Bringing up children in a balanced and effective way is based on tried and tested scientific methods, integrating emotional, cognitive, social and physical aspects. Here is a structured guide:
1. Emotional security and attachment:
Meeting needs: Responsive parenting (Bowlby, attachment theory) builds trust. Listen to your child’s emotions and show empathy.
Emotional stability: Avoid overly strict or unstable reactions. A soothing environment encourages brain development (prefrontal cortex regions).
2. Positive encouragement:
Positive reinforcement: Reward desired behaviour (e.g. ‘Thank you for putting your toy away!’) rather than punishing. This reinforces benevolent authority (Baumrind, authoritative parenting).
Specific praise: Favour constructive criticism (‘Try to concentrate on the effort’,而非 ‘You’re smart’) to cultivate a growth mindset (Carol Dweck).
3. Structure and routines:
Family rituals: Routines (mealtimes, bedtimes) provide a sense of security. Children internalise self-regulation.
Clear limits: Establish consistent rules (e.g. limited screen time) and explain the reasons to reinforce compliance.
4. Cognitive and social development:
Interactive play: Role-playing or construction games stimulate creativity and problem-solving (Vygotsky, social interaction).
Shared reading: Reading stories on a daily basis improves language and imagination. Discussing the emotions of the characters helps develop empathy.
Exposure to diversity: Encourage le接触 to different cultures or perspectives to reduce prejudice and strengthen cognitive flexibility.
5. Emotional education:
Labelling emotions: Help children name their feelings (e.g. ‘Are you frustrated?’) to improve emotional regulation.
Conflict resolution: Teach techniques such as non-violent communication (Marshall Rosenberg) to foster healthy relationships.
6. Physical health and well-being:
Diet and sleep: A diet rich in fruit, vegetables and healthy fats (e.g. omega-3) supports neuroplasticity. Quality sleep (10-13 hours for children aged 5-13) is essential for memory.
Physical activity: 60 minutes/day of exercise to stimulate motor development and reduce stress (via the release of serotonin).
7. Autonomy and responsibility:
Adapted responsibilities: Assigning simple tasks (tidying up the room) to build confidence and competence.
Guided decisions: Offer limited choices (‘Do you prefer the blue jumper or the red one?’) to develop progressive independence.
8. Behaviour management:
Natural consequences: Let children experience the results of their choices (e.g. forgetting a toy = not having it at school).
Quiet time: Use short breaks (1 min per year of age) for inappropriate behaviour, followed by a restorative dialogue.
9. Adolescence: Transition to autonomy:
Open communication: Avoid judgements and encourage openness (e.g. discuss social pressures or conflicting emotions).
Gradual supervision: Give more and more autonomy as the child matures (e.g. set a curfew and discuss the risks).
10. Caring parenting and self-care:
Parental self-regulation: Manage stress through meditation or exercise to avoid transmitting anxiety.
Support network: Collaborate with educators, paediatricians and other parents for context-specific advice.
Methods to avoid:
Physical punishment (linked to later aggressive behaviour), verbal harassment, or social isolation.
Key scientific resources :
Books: The Myth of Harmonious Development (Darcia Narvaez), Mindset (Carol Dweck).
Programmes: Positive Parenting Program (Triple P), SEL curriculum (e.g. Second Step).
In short, effective education combines flexibility, consistency and empathy, adapting to the unique needs of each child. A holistic approach, supported by research into neuroscience and developmental psychology, helps children to flourish and become resilient.
